Question: Why do people make so many excuses?
An excuse is basically a reason why you did something or made a certain decision. Excuse has a negative connotation but it doesn’t always have to. I am really big at looking at both sides of a situation and making my own assessment. I don’t, however, give people the benefit of the doubt. People often say that is not fair but until I know the truth, it is just easier to expect to be disappointed. So let’s talk about some of the excuses people make and let’s try to understand why they make them.
I am going to start with the one that I have the most experience with. This is people who use the excuse that because of where or how they were raised is an excuse for them to act the way they do. This is the biggest bunch of crap. Yes, I agree that where and how you were raised can influence some of your decisions, but doesn’t warrant the bad ones you make. You do NOT have to be a product of your environment. I had an extremely horrible and neglected upbringing ranging anywhere from ghettos to a group home, to physical to mental abuse, to complete disregard of my well-being. To me that was just even more motivation to break free and succeed. The only way to move when you’re at the bottom is up. it is never an easy task and it takes a great amount of sacrifice, strive, and determination. I know that based on where you live and are raised some people aren’t afforded the better things in life and better education but once again that should just motivate you more. So when people give you an excuse of, “I was raised in the ghetto and I was really poor,” the only word I hear in there is WAS. So what are you going to do about it NOW?
Another excuse is that I don’t know how to…? I hate this excuse. If you don’t know how to do something all you have to do is learn. I know you may not get instant results, but that depends on how committed you are to learning. I don’t know cars very well so I have to spend a lot of time researching. I have friends that just know their stuff and instead of just making and excuse and asking them, I just get the info myself. One day there isn’t going to be somewhere there to hold your hand so the faster you learn the better off you will be.
One of the excuses that really bother me is the infamous, “because I was drunk.” This is the lamest excuse of them all. We had a long discussion at work about this one and there were many different opinions. Despite what they say, my opinion makes the most sense. Let me start by saying that I am EXTREMELY strong-willed and EXTREMELY hard to influence. I do what I want to do and don’t do what I don’t want to do simply because I do or don’t want to do it. Also I don’t get embarrassed easily and don’t get nervous. That being said, our discussion was about why do people have to drink in order to have fun? This can be a whole separate post but I’ll sum it up. The two sides were: People drink to lower their inhibitions so they can be more free and relaxed to do the stuff that they wouldn’t normally do while sober (their side). (My side), you don’t have to be intoxicated to have fun and if you wouldn’t do it sober then you shouldn’t do it intoxicated. To me, and the rest of the free thinking educated world, doing something stupid or making a fool of yourself and then saying it was because you were drunk is just an excuse for people to overlook the fact that you were a jackass and hope that they forgive you. Then, they say drinking is liquid courage. NO, drinking is pretending that you don’t care and once you get rejected you can say or act like it was because you were drunk and hopefully drink enough to where you forget that you were rejected. If you were willing to sleep with someone less fortunate while you were intoxicated, then you should be able to do it while you are sober. You are going to feel just as embarrassed about it in the morning when you are sober anyway, so why not start the whole ordeal sober so you can either avoid the situation altogether or admit your mistake and move on. Not just with sexual relations, but with anything, I would choose quality over quantity any day. I don’t have a problem with drinking, but we are talking about using it as an excuse. It will not be validated, sorry.
Now excuses can be good. It sounds funny because excuse already has a negative connotation, and I guess you can call a good excuse a justified reason. Ex: “Why did you not come to school today?” “Because I had a funeral to go to.” Ok, that is definitely a good excuse/reason. Or, “Why didn’t I see you at the party last night?” “Because I was too busy studying for my future.” Don’t get it twisted, there is nothing wrong with making a mistake, but it is when people don’t own up to it is when it becomes a problem. If you go into something knowing full and well what you are getting yourself into, then you have no excuse. If is something that you can’t avoid, then you have a legit excuse. So I guess excuses are people’s way of justifying their mistakes, instead of correcting them or seeking the appropriate steps to avoiding a mistake or embarrassment to begin with. Either way excuses are like dairy to a lactose intolerant, it’s sounded like a good idea when you did it, but you’ll be paying for it later. So, How Do You Phill?